A truer banana

Tuesday August 3, 2004

“Well, we have three choices,” I said as we came out of the last of the Spilsby shops purporting to sell greeting cards. “Boston, Horncastle or Lincoln.”

“I don’t want to go to any of them. Too hot and sticky.”

“We don’t really have an option. If we don’t get a card and post it today it’ll not get there on time.”

“Okay, Boston, then. And don’t spare the horses.

“Haven’t got any horses.”

“And it’s too hot for clever, too. Too hot by far.”

So off we shot, at a sensible pace, to the centre of Boston. Graham’s parents are celebrating their Diamond wedding anniversary shortly and the tatty little cards we found in Spilsby simply wouldn’t do. No matter who the recipient may be you have to make a bit of an effort to mark sixty years of wedded whatever, and Graham’s parents are certainly no exception to that rule.

Even in Boston the card shops don’t seem to think much of diamond wedding anniversaries. I suppose it’s because there aren’t too many of them.

“Tell you what,” I said. “Let’s try Oldrids.”

“Didn’t know they sold cards.”

“Bet they do. They sell cameras, after all.”

“Don’t see that but we’ll give it a go.”

Sure enough, they had a really good greetings card section and there, sitting on the display, was a small but tasteful selection of diamond wedding anniversary cards. In no time flat we had selected a card, and some face cloths, and some table mats and coasters—when do you ever go into a department store for one small item and come out with nothing else?—and were wandering from the pay counter past the restaurant.

“Can we have lunch here?” I asked, looking at the menu of tasty savouries.

“Oh, let’s grab some crusty bread rolls and go home.”

“Fine by me. My legs are beginning to complain anyway.”

In deference to my legs we sat for a while on a bench outside the store. Graham wrote the card and addressed the envelope, and I pulled out my trusty little pencam.

“Drat!” I said.


“My batteries are flat.”

“That sort of day, really, isn’t it?”

“You never spoke a truer banana.”

“What do you mean, banana?”

“I dunno. Like you said, it’s too hot and sticky for clever.”


Stickford Aug,'04

Farm building



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