Private thought

Wednesday January 12, 2005

It’s going to take a while for me to work out a new approach to writing, journal keeping, eating, walking, sleeping and the routine chores of the day.

There’s a great hole in my life just now, you see. While it is filling already, it is doing so very slowly, so much so that I doubt I’ll recognise when the process is done. On past experience, it’s never quite done. Life, it seems, is a rich tapestry but there are parts so worn through they can never be fully mended.

For a while, then, there are potholes in my path, needing to be stepped over carefully. Not ignored, of course. The stumbling points in our progress are as much a part of the path as are the smooth places.

Hey ho. Life goes on, and we have to go on living it.

The many messages of sympathy and support we’ve had, from all over the world, have helped more than I’d have thought possible. I’ve read them all at least twice, and have stored them in a safe place. But I can’t answer them individually. Not because of any physical limitation, or lack of time. Time has gone a little heavy just now. No, I can’t answer them because I simply cannot face saying the same thank you, feeling the same moistness in the eyes, over and over again.

Please, if you’ve written or messaged me, accept this as our heartfelt thanks for your good thoughts. And if you’ve wanted to send sympathy but couldn’t face it, these thanks go out to you, too, just as much. I can’t always find the words myself.

Now it’s time to draw back the curtains, open the windows, and get on with it. The subject is not closed, but it is put to one side, for private thought.


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