Before breakfast

Saturday September 30, 2006

Oh, woe is me! Until I get my new denture I’ve lost my ‘F’! Best I can manage is a feeble ‘Ph’. I’ve spent time in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to produce a proper ‘F’, and failed, miserably. So, until mid-November, I’m denied use of one of my sparingly used but most emphatic swear words. Not even the illicit purveyors of Viagra can help with this disfunction.

Other than that, my teeth, or sudden lack of them, now give me no trouble at all. I’m healing nicely and, for the first time in years, I find myself in a state where I have no dental discomfort at all. I had not realised just how much those pesky molars had degraded my waking hours. It’ll be a while before I can bite into an apple again but providing I cut them up really small I can still munch happily on the pieces. And taste them, too. We have to be thankful for our mercies, no matter how small.

By almost all standards, then, I am restored to normal function and well-being. Apart from my ‘F’, that is. I ask you, what kind of a poet can function without a healthy ‘F’?

And that is the last I have to say on the subject of dentistry. Until the next time or until a truly remarkable side-effect occurs of course. It’s an interesting subject, if somewhat morbid, but not the kind of thing I care to discuss before breakfast.

Reader’s note:  For the first time and for those who like to know these things, I include below a summary of my website stats for this month. I’d like to reassure visitors that I don’t keep, or inspect, details of individual visits, so neither I nor anyone else knows by this means who exactly is visiting, and when.

Monthly Statistics for September 2006
Total Hits 150979
Total Files 108568
Total Pages 77092
Total Visits 26669
Total KBytes 954527
Total Unique Sites 9151
Total Unique URLs 5545
Total Unique Referrers 3188
Total Unique Usernames 1
Total Unique User Agents 285
. Avg Max
Hits per Hour 209 4973
Hits per Day 5032 8482
Files per Day 3618 6844
Pages per Day 2569 5136
Visits per Day 888 1392
KBytes per Day 31818 63341
Hits by Response Code
Code 200 – OK 108568
Code 206 – Partial Content 232
Code 301 – Moved Permanently 135
Code 302 – Found 29
Code 304 – Not Modified 26113
Code 404 – Not Found 15893
Code 405 – Method Not Allowed 9



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